I learned the hard way that my new jeans make a terrible noise

I bought a new pair of jeans online and didn’t bother testing them at home. I put them on and walked into a quiet bookstore—only to discover they made a loud, rubbery squeaking sound every time I moved.

It wasn’t subtle.
It was cartoon-level squeaking.

I tried walking slower. Still squeaked. Faster? Somehow squeakier. At one point someone looked up from their book, confused, like they expected to see a balloon animal wandering by.

I ended up shuffling through the aisles like a guilty ghost just to minimize the noise. The moment I got home, I googled “jeans squeak when walking???” and apparently it’s a known issue.

They’re now my “only at home” jeans.