All Stories
Drinking & Parties
Somehow I've made it out of my childhood, only to find myself trapped behind a crowded bar in my early twenties, desperately trying to recreate someone else's idea of a rite of passage. My friend Rachel hands me a neon-green beer koozie and I awkwardly place it around an almost-empty Pilsner.
Holidays & Events
My family has an annual Easter egg hunt tradition where everyone has to dress up in their best, albeit ridiculous, Easter bonnet – and last year, I really blew the whole shebang. I spent hours crafting a magnificent, glittery, neon pink, unicorn-riding, Easter basket-hat monstrosity only to faceplant into it within three seconds of the hunt starting.
First Times
The smell of fresh-cut grass clung to my fingers when I picked her up from the party. It wasn't until that night that she told me what it meant, how it reminded her of her childhood in Wisconsin, summer barbecues and siblings tumbling out of trees.
School
My palms sweated as I gripped the worn desk legs for support, trying to appear nonchalant as Mr. Johnson passed out worksheets with the dreaded 'Group Project' written across the top, a term I'd somehow managed to avoid for three entire years but now stared back at me from 40 sets of expectant eyes.
Work
My fingers hover over the keyboard, hesitating as if trying to remember the Morse code for 'I have no idea.' A sea of coworkers' heads swiveling towards me has become the norm in our team's Monday meetings.
Drinking & Parties
The smell of sweat and stale beer clung to me like a bad tattoo as I stumbled out of the crowded bar, arm in arm with a guy who claimed to be a neurosurgeon but looked suspiciously like a middle-aged hipster named Dave. We had met exactly four minutes prior and were, somehow, in the midst of planning our first joint karaoke performance in Japanese.
Friends
Sometimes memories seep out of my earplugs when I'm walking to work. Last week, one of them was about Emily.
Misunderstandings
The afternoon sunlight filtering through our apartment blinds made the dust motes dance in a way that only seemed meaningful to ants. My best friend Emily walked in, spotted the handwritten get-well card, and launched into a frantic rendition of I Will Survive.
Holidays & Events
The fluorescent lights of the church stage reflected off my shiny balding spot as I awkwardly handed out tambourines to a room full of expectant children. I was 'Mr.
School
My backpack somehow manages to be both too big and the wrong shape for my torso – it dangles off my shoulder at an alarming angle as I try to navigate our school's entrance. I'm the only one wearing a bright orange windbreaker, and I can practically hear my classmates mocking me from across the courtyard.
Tech Fails
My fingers twitched as I struggled to remember the sequence of buttons on my grandfather's old VHS recorder, now proudly displayed beside the new 5K 4K whatever it's called. As a self-proclaimed genius who'd written 27 tweets about the benefits of analog life – much to the disdain of my followers who'd rather watch the world burn – I had decided to hold a seminar explaining the importance of VHS.
Food & Dining
The way sunlight reflects off the grease stains on our diner's booths is a constant, mesmerizing companion - like a flickering fluorescent light hum that you can't help but hum along to - until it's 3 pm and all that's left is the bitter taste of stale coffee seeping into our vinyl banquettes.
Drinking & Parties
The ice clinked against the side of the glass like a hesitant greeting as I rummaged through my coat pockets for the cash to pay for yet another overpriced beer. People laughed and shouted in the background, a disorienting maelstrom of sound I'd grown accustomed to at parties like this one.
Bad Timing
The sound of my cat sneezing in syncopation still lingers as I recall the fated phone call from my aunt, informing me I'd won an art therapy competition I hadn't entered - all at exactly 3 AM while I was desperately trying to learn a clarinet solo by ear.
Dating & Relationships
The fluorescent lights in the coffee shop reflect off the sheen of your new laptop which you've just spilled a latte all over. I awkwardly stand behind my chair, frozen in an attempt to decide if I should just turn on the espresso machine to clean up the mess or grab a towel from the kitchen.
Travel
As I accidentally booked a 6am hostel pickup, darkness seeped into my room through the narrow slats of shutters, a faint reminder my body was still on Pacific standard time – somewhere in my head, or at least the part that remembered I wasn't a vampire.
First Times
Mornings spent shoveling snow from my grandma's driveway began after my mom fell ill – my grandma, too stubborn to admit she needed help, made these early winter duties mine. The biting air felt less sharp as I huffed against the wind, eyes on the task ahead, trying to find symmetry in uneven flakes.
First Times
My friend Emma insisted we try the weird falafel cart downtown, and I agreed, thinking it'd be a nice gesture. As I bit into the crispy exterior, the flavors danced, but my stomach protested at the loudness, reminding me of my aunt's dinner parties where everyone talked at once.
Holidays & Events
My aunt's New Year's Eve countdowns used to last exactly two hours and forty-seven minutes, give or take a few minutes for obligatory family selfies and her sister to whisper excuses in the bathroom while pretending to fix her hair. The room would grow thick with stale air from the endless supply of lukewarm canapés and lukewarm cheer.
Pets
My cat's obsession with the refrigerator is inexplicable, she sits for hours staring at the humming compressor, I've tried rearranging the kitchen layout to conceal it but she always finds her way back, one time I opened the door thinking she'd been stuck inside, but no, just basking in the cool air, completely unphased
Kids
My backpack always reeked of yesterday's peanut butter when I walked into my new second-grade classroom. I fumbled with my lunch money on the counter by the door, a soggy crutch under the fluorescent lights that made everyone look like a pale, waxy crayon.
Texting & Social Media
I've been 'unfriending' my way through life, deleting each social media account a new failed relationship's equivalent of ripping a Band-Aid off, except my hands aren't shaking because I have a history of poor coping mechanisms.