I'm starting to think the only thing my smart coffee maker is intelligent about is its ability to judge me. Every morning, I try to hack its user interface, but it just doesn't cooperate. I've poked around its settings, trying to disable its annoyingly chipper "Good morning, Samantha!" announcements that always seem to kick-start my existential dread.
This morning was particularly eventful. With my coffee still in progress, my phone autocorrected a crucial character in my password, and I locked myself out of my online calendar and subsequently, my bank account. Just then, the coffee maker announced it was done, and a bright red display read out: "CAFFEINE IS READY... B-but why aren't I going to the coffee shop anymore..." My neighbor's cat walked past the kitchen window to observe me staring at my phone. I looked up.
This morning was particularly eventful. With my coffee still in progress, my phone autocorrected a crucial character in my password, and I locked myself out of my online calendar and subsequently, my bank account. Just then, the coffee maker announced it was done, and a bright red display read out: "CAFFEINE IS READY... B-but why aren't I going to the coffee shop anymore..." My neighbor's cat walked past the kitchen window to observe me staring at my phone. I looked up.
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