One time this happened...

My shoes have the peculiar smell of stale popcorn, remnants of a movie theater concession stand job I held over winter break during my sophomore year. Every Tuesday, after clearing the trash, I'd slip behind the candy counter, where a hidden stash of stale kernels would accumulate in the ventilation unit.

I tried to return a toaster because it started smoking by day three. The employee opened the box, looked at the toaster, then looked at me like he was about to interrogate me.

I tripped on the sidewalk this morning, my feet flying out from under me like I was in a slapstick comedy. My coworkers strolled by, trying not to stare, as I scrambled to get up without drawing more attention to myself.

I'd been practicing my clarinet in the bathroom for what felt like hours, trying to perfect that one tricky note, when suddenly the landlord burst in to tell me about the leaky pipe. In the chaos, my clarinet slipped out of my fingers and landed on the edge of the tub, where it started playing an unsettlingly perfect rendition of "La Cumparsita." I frantically grabbed it back, feeling a mix of relief and terror as he shook his head, clearly thinking I'd deliberately used the instrument to distract him.

I was in the grocery store after work, moving on autopilot, when I noticed a shopping cart behind me every time I switched aisles. I figured someone kept leaving it while grabbing items, but after the fifth aisle, I started feeling like I was being followed… by a cart.

I ordered a latte and waited for my name to be called. The barista kept yelling “Large almond!