One time this happened...

My fingers had a peculiar relationship with space, consistently misunderstanding it whenever I typed out my password on public computers. During a particularly arduous business trip, my hotel room computer screen turned eerily silent when I input 12 jumbled digits.

My fingers twitched as I struggled to remember the sequence of buttons on my grandfather's old VHS recorder, now proudly displayed beside the new 5K 4K whatever it's called. As a self-proclaimed genius who'd written 27 tweets about the benefits of analog life – much to the disdain of my followers who'd rather watch the world burn – I had decided to hold a seminar explaining the importance of VHS.

There's a 4-inch patch of carpet between my laptop's keyboard keys and the coffee-stained cushion beneath it. I'm staring at it, wondering if this will be the time I finally fix the problem with my self-designed 3D printer.