One time this happened...

Sometimes after 2 am on a Tuesday my stomach starts talking in a voice that's almost a perfect imitation of a particularly grating aunt – you know, the one that means well but will drone on for 17 minutes about last month's water bill. At that point I get this gnawing urge, usually driven by some fleeting regret or misplaced insecurity, to pick up my phone and rattle off an update that is 97% mundane and 3% slightly cringeworthy details – for instance, I spent Sunday watching 4.5 hours of Korean variety shows with 1 cat and 0 productive tasks – only to immediately regret having hit send because 9.7 times out of 10 the next day it all feels like a desperate attempt to validate or at least appear somewhat present in this virtual echo chamber we've constructed for validation.

My cat ate a whole jar of wasabi last night, but not before using his paws to create a makeshift sushi bar on the kitchen counter. He's got an aversion to cilantro, I swear.

Moments I'd rather forget involve the time I accidentally confessed my crush to the coffee shop manager during a heated debate about the perfect coffee-to-water ratio. I was mortified.

My therapist thinks I have an unusual attachment to used straws, so I've started collecting them in a mason jar under my bed – now I have 47 from last week alone.

My therapist keeps telling me to focus on my 'inner child,' but honestly, sometimes my inner child acts more like a clingy roommate who won't stop eating cereal out of the carton. I've started scribbing weird reminders on Post-its to 'remind' it to be more adult sometimes – stuff like 'stop sobbing at the thought of a minor disagreement' and 'relearn personal space'.

Fingers stained with turmeric, I rummaged through a pile of yesterday's unwitnessed memories while attempting to cook a decent dosa - my mother's culinary curse, the inability to resist inserting unsolicited kitchen lessons still lingered. The soft murmur of my partner asking what I was making, followed by a disinterested glance towards the TV, sent a shiver down my spine, the kind that occurs when something fundamental in your universe just unravels.