My neighbor's dog thinks I'm its owner; it wags at me every time I step outside, but the owner remains oblivious to this fact. I've tried calling it by its actual name, but the response is always: 'not me' followed by the neighbor's dismissive wave. Now, the dog insists on following me on walks, as if waiting for me to magically turn it into the center of attention. I fumble with a bagel from my morning routine - it's become a security blanket - while simultaneously trying to subtly lead the dog away from my apartment. It doesn't budge.
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